I feel like the worst homeschooling mom but you know what… I don’t care. Why? Because we are enjoying each other’s company and having fun! I have everything set up for our Day 1.. just not sure when our Day 1 will actually be.. lol.
Last night was an emotional night for the 2 of us because we are both really missing the Jedi Master. He left a week ago tomorrow. I opted to start schooling her the weekend after he left to help us both cope with him not being here. I am wondering if it was too soon. Sailor Moon has been acting out ALOT and no matter what I do, it makes it worse. I know deep down she needs a routine and a schedule to help her be focused on anything throughout the day, but then my mommy instincts kick in and I see that she is hurting and I want to just cuddle her until she feels better. I want to show her I am there for her but at the same time, I am hurting just as much as she is and I am trying to hold it all together without slumping into depression… I’m teetering the border on this.
My house is a mess, I have no inhibition to want to do anything (except the school stuff), and I have lost any appetite I had, which is a tough one because I do not want to cook and I’m having to force myself to for her sake.. I had a luxuriously healthy meal plan set up for this week and all we have had is Kraft Dinner and soup. I ask her what she wants and that’s her response. Tonight was the first time since the Jedi Master left that I actually cooked a whole meal from scratch (Chicken Tikka Masala) and Sailor Moon opted for Lucky Charms as a side to hers.
I used today to do things to make me feel good about myself and to help Sailor Moon do the same. I pampered us both to a hair care session (its the longest amount of time she would sit still). And tomorrow we have pre-booked tickets on a charter bus to go to an exhibit at a museum in the next county called “Be A Dinosaur”.. Sailor Moon loves dinosaurs! Its one of the few things she has requested we study this year (I am waiting till next year when she can read the names with me), but I know she would enjoy this exhibit and it would be a nice break and finally get us out of the house. I booked this trip before the Jedi Master went back to university and have been meaning to cancel it for financial reasons, but I remembered it tonight.. so I am thinking its fate and we should go. But as I sit here typing this, I am doubting that decision and thinking of things we could do around the house instead. I truly hate this feeling or having soo many things I want to do, but not having the “umpf” to want to do any of it.
I’ll see how tomorrow plays out and see where we end up.